The beautiful smile hides the troubled soul
And though I do try the best I can
You had to be me to understand
You had to be me to understand
Dream on
carrega stop, faz rewind, por favor volta para trás
Snippets of imagination come and go. The hard truth is inexplicable though. The schizophrenia is way too deep, way too unsound, way too insane.
I am dissociated from everything while living something, and still, everything is always present. We all are acting throghout life, but I am in the audience, screenplaying and directing as well.
I can’t forget anything, and this is why I have no option than carrying on. Dreaming on.
Snippets of imagination come and go. The hard truth is inexplicable though. The schizophrenia is way too deep, way too unsound, way too insane.
I am dissociated from everything while living something, and still, everything is always present. We all are acting throghout life, but I am in the audience, screenplaying and directing as well.
I can’t forget anything, and this is why I have no option than carrying on. Dreaming on.
Subtle details
Sensual visions and feels. Sliding into you. Sensing the pressure and relief and getting drawn into your warmth. Enjoying the rythm, gradually growing into a synchronized beat.
All while desiring kissing your open skin where the straps hang. Imagining your smoothness below the silk. Moving the straps aside, triggering a slow unveiling of your beautiful whole. Letting my blood rush and have no restraints so you feel me as well. You turn your back, tilt your head, expose your neck and feel my soft bites. You do allow my arms to squeeze you against my bare chest, start moving your waist round and round and up and down, while murmuring words of ecstasy. And the rythm gradually grows into a synchronized beat, my hands hold your face and mouth tight, the murmur turns to gasping and pleasure, and you want to wait no more. You turn to me. Look deeply into my eyes and soul, we hold our hands tight. I push you against the wall, just like years ago. Only this time there’s nothing in between. And you gasp, bite my ear, kiss my beard. My weight is holding you tight and you easily wrap your legs around my torso. There’s no need to explore you with my hands. I can feel you entirely in the close embrace. We get back to a synchronized beat, only to suddenly realize we are closer than ever before, and, equally suddenly, deeper than our wildest wishes. We stop abruptly, static, electrified. You are shivering, I’m in awe. The sounds we manage to convey are slow and rumbling. Primitive. I hold your hands and push them high and you moan.
And then, you manage to say two words: “don’t stop”. And the rythm gradually climbs into a complex growing orchestra, playing through waves of endless pleasure.
All while desiring kissing your open skin where the straps hang. Imagining your smoothness below the silk. Moving the straps aside, triggering a slow unveiling of your beautiful whole. Letting my blood rush and have no restraints so you feel me as well. You turn your back, tilt your head, expose your neck and feel my soft bites. You do allow my arms to squeeze you against my bare chest, start moving your waist round and round and up and down, while murmuring words of ecstasy. And the rythm gradually grows into a synchronized beat, my hands hold your face and mouth tight, the murmur turns to gasping and pleasure, and you want to wait no more. You turn to me. Look deeply into my eyes and soul, we hold our hands tight. I push you against the wall, just like years ago. Only this time there’s nothing in between. And you gasp, bite my ear, kiss my beard. My weight is holding you tight and you easily wrap your legs around my torso. There’s no need to explore you with my hands. I can feel you entirely in the close embrace. We get back to a synchronized beat, only to suddenly realize we are closer than ever before, and, equally suddenly, deeper than our wildest wishes. We stop abruptly, static, electrified. You are shivering, I’m in awe. The sounds we manage to convey are slow and rumbling. Primitive. I hold your hands and push them high and you moan.
And then, you manage to say two words: “don’t stop”. And the rythm gradually climbs into a complex growing orchestra, playing through waves of endless pleasure.
Lacerating distance
that “fertile solitude” is the basic unit of a full and contented life.
But in the neutral state of aloneness, the psychoemotional line between solitude and loneliness can be as thin as a razor’s edge and as lacerating to the soul.
But in the neutral state of aloneness, the psychoemotional line between solitude and loneliness can be as thin as a razor’s edge and as lacerating to the soul.
it is enough
to have my conciousness screaming at me. it does not need remembering, at every step, what a lousy bastard I am.
i do take care of making myself miserable, and just would like to, at times, forget I bring hurt, forget I cause pain, and that people treasure the little thing I give with no but's, with no expectations, with no judgements.
else, it just adds external angst to sorrow.
i do take care of making myself miserable, and just would like to, at times, forget I bring hurt, forget I cause pain, and that people treasure the little thing I give with no but's, with no expectations, with no judgements.
else, it just adds external angst to sorrow.
We are not children, or fools, we are mad.
You, best of all, know how I feel about you, and always shall. No one can ever take your place with me. We know each other in such a terrible, certain, windless way. You and I have almost achieved that which is never achieved: we sit in each other’s souls.
The art of giving
entails the willingness of receiving. Not in your own terms, but those of the givers.
If you are not willing to accept the terms and conditions, should you not accept the gift?
And if so, how to make sure that this lack of acceptance doesn't translate into rejection, pain and hurt? Or, should you be disrespectful, and accept it, knowing that you are unable to abide to the implied conditions, but showing clearly your willingness?
And if you give, what do you give? And if you receive, how do you receive? And if there's a reason to give and a reason to receive, why not doing so?
Yet another conundrum. Preso por ter cão, preso por não ter.
If you are not willing to accept the terms and conditions, should you not accept the gift?
And if so, how to make sure that this lack of acceptance doesn't translate into rejection, pain and hurt? Or, should you be disrespectful, and accept it, knowing that you are unable to abide to the implied conditions, but showing clearly your willingness?
And if you give, what do you give? And if you receive, how do you receive? And if there's a reason to give and a reason to receive, why not doing so?
Yet another conundrum. Preso por ter cão, preso por não ter.
waking up
Trembling. Shivering.
The thoughts were sudden. The images real. The feeling non existing.
A worst case scenario is, at times, one of delight.
Everything was there. The look, the closeness, the warmth. Then, you murmured while biting my hear.
And then, I stopped shivering and trembling. Steady and calm, I woke up again. While I breathed heavily, you were still moaning.
We looked into each others eyes and smiled.
The thoughts were sudden. The images real. The feeling non existing.
A worst case scenario is, at times, one of delight.
Everything was there. The look, the closeness, the warmth. Then, you murmured while biting my hear.
And then, I stopped shivering and trembling. Steady and calm, I woke up again. While I breathed heavily, you were still moaning.
We looked into each others eyes and smiled.
finding a way
How to tame desire? Allow it to express in all different colours, while respecting the boundaries?
Which colours are acceptable?
How to avoid circumstances that will derail the right course of action?
What is right? What is wrong?
Living now is easy. Thinking about the future and remembering the past is hard. And still, each moment is worth living without considerations for anything else.
Is that enough?
Which colours are acceptable?
How to avoid circumstances that will derail the right course of action?
What is right? What is wrong?
Living now is easy. Thinking about the future and remembering the past is hard. And still, each moment is worth living without considerations for anything else.
Is that enough?
Boundaries
Ficar contigo, agora e para sempre
Nadar no teu corpo, eternamente
Teus sonhos os meus serão
Meus sonhos os teus serão
Nadar no teu corpo, eternamente
Teus sonhos os meus serão
Meus sonhos os teus serão
No limits
it is useless to have limits: mind flies over them, dreams the impossible, and when presented the opportunity will soak every last bit of light that pours through the cracks in the wall.
In fact, there are no limits in mankind. People are designed to push them, break them, explore all the realm of the unknown that lies beyond. It is against the nature of Men to think otherwise, and if doing so, we may as well stop breathing. We may be limited physically, but even that won’t stop emotions from flowing, and spirits from flying.
However, while limits are useless, boundaries are effective. The premise is otherwise, it accepts the fact that there is no limit, and establishes instead that both parties agree to a set of rules along an imaginary border. A boundary is physical. It doesn’t stop the knowledge of each other to stop, as any boundary is porous to both will and insanity, both acts and ideas. But it prevents and controls the sense of loss in a world that is too large.
And when boundaries are broken, war ensues. Kingdoms fall. Alliances are shattered. Links severed.
We may cause people to be angry with words and ideas. But it is the moment when a soldier dares stepping over the wall, cutting the fence, that the real turmoil starts.
Still, the boundary is a mere conception. Rivers flow through. Mountains are the same across both sides. Birds fly over.
And we, in the limelight of despair, dream together. We rely on boundaries so we can have no limits.