Weeks go by

Months fade.

Years disappear.

"The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed."

Adieu

 

Vividly

And yet, even in the dream, I am stuck and prevented to go after you. 

This time you wanted me. That's a  change.

Further and further

Farther and farther.

 

Realizations

Every once in a while, I realize certain details, I become aware of cultural elements I was too oblivious to.

You did speak with your eyes more than words. Your demeanour, so Slavic, was by me misunderstood. The seldom smile publicly, that widened when we were alone. The care put in my feel good, in silence and awe. The tough love, requiring me to show up and step up.  The patient wait, with the untold expectations remaining high.  The ability to move on, while preferring to saty with. The mesmerizing surprises I could not have dared in my wildest dreams. The unexpected simplicity and the refined politeness, at every single moment.

I never understood you enough, I never realized you timely, I never made Love with as much passion, determination and surrender as you made me do. 

And I cannot forget you. And you know it, better than I could have ever imagined, and you have the strength to carry on. I just do not know whether you forgot me or not.

I went to the woods

 

because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...

The dream reflects

As a mirror, my soul.

I seek you. I walk up and down the stairs. There's a myriad of people, but you are nowhere to be found.

I find everyone but you. And I know you are somewhere.

And I walk on and on and on.

To strive, to seek, to find

And not to yield.

the pleasure

The privilege was mine.

No dots left to connect

 

hopes

of a sign, vanish. 

and rightly so, I guess.

Glad

 

Enjoy the silence

The only gift that suits me.