new skin; a mind I can bear to live in

Watching you dancing with someone else, devoted to a new and energised life, with a long hoped direction. Barely. But I can bear. New Skin for the Old Ceremony.


The bed is kind of narrow, but my arms are open wide.
And here's a man still working for your smile.

T-12

I live on both sides of the mirror
Feel the pain that destruction brings
I want to help put everything in its place
I want to destroy everything

There are cities underneath cities
Cities beneath the sea
In deserted towns and burial mounds
There is beauty that no-one will see
And the magic of stones when taken back home
Is left on the beach

The dead see through the eyes of the living
The dead know all of our names
Powerless to stop us repeating the same
Careless mistakes that they made

Exhilarating

from dusk to dawn and back. Life’s a rollercoaster, but not everyone has strong stomachs.

Better to remain in the tarot stand, waiting for the crystal ball.

Finding peace

1. Stop worrying
2. Stop wanting to fix the entire world
3. Stop being naive
4. Start avoiding
5. Start forgetting

Or is this fighting a war?

Au cœur des ténèbres, au plus profond de la nuit

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward.


Hit by what? Lightning, hatred, disillusion, despair, lack of hope. Foremost, bad people, people without heart or soul.


And still, what actually hurts and brings us to our knees are the others. The ones with heart and soul, that unwillingly find themselves walking on the wire.

I, You.

both. free, not free. causing pain, not wanting to cause pain.

you, free, now. leaving.

there are pains we don't choose, some we avoid, some we live through.

what one feels certainly changes. pain changes everything.

Só

Não parece condizer com o que ela te diz com o olhar.

Warum

Ja, ich liebe diese Tage, Die man morgens schon vergisst.


I don’t. But my heart tells me you are singing and forgetting. Fast and furiously.

Get gone

PS. — while I was writing the last page, tear after tear fell on the paper. But I must cheer up — catch — An astonishing number of kisses are flying about — The deuce! — I see a whole crowd of them. Ha! Ha!… I have just caught three — They are delicious… I kiss you millions of times.


The social life turning all upside down and fast forwarding. Don’t know where, how, what, and, foremost, whom. Whom is now reaping the fallout of the seeds I inadvertently sow, grew on their own, I did not protect and left facing the storm. 

It’s best not to know? I don’t know.

Wandering and wondering

What, where, how, and with whom.

When doesn’t matter. It is everyday, day and night, that I think about you.

Suffering

Suffering by antecipation avoids the disapointment when reality strikes.

One day, your words

or, most likely, it won’t even hurt. I hope you don’t have to sing it, no matter how crushing the indifference turns out to hit me: it does already.

Anyhow, maybe yesterday was already the day. It feels like it.
So, let’s dream this is what you are singing right now: I’m selfish for your feelings.

They say time will
Make all this go away

A new dawn

An old place.

By being gone, I’ll never know if and where you went.


Go. Just go.

Broken Saudade

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

It needs not to happen. Darkness comes to me uninvited, as my naivety allows to believe, expect, endlessy.
When the subtle details come, the crude and ruthless reality is magnified, the emotions overflow, and the glimpse of silly dreams is drown.

I make reality, perhaps, not what it is, but what it’s meant to be. My soul perishes by antecipation, and no one can ever save me from the bits and pieces that are buried. Bits and pieces always remembered, and longed for.

And it lingers. Because, by being gone, I’ll never know if and where you went.

Tired

I am weary

I could sleep for a thousand years

Taste the whip, now plead for me

Grief

here comes the acceptance.
but, was there anything dying at all? why do we grieve over things that are alive?

altruism

i shall look the psycopaths in the eye and tell them what feeling feels like.

i know it changes nothing, but maybe, perhaps, it changes me.

may my misery set you free.

Most of the time II

we’ll both forget the breeze

Despair II

illiterates know poetry through despair.

Despair I

Passion is a poet's drug, and despair his withdrawal.

fast and furious

you become so strong outside that your shell grows inwards, till the point where no fragility inside remains. your mind is now sharp serious, so encompassing your heart shifts to a rock. your beauty is that of a fallen angel, from face to toe: ever breathtaking and turning to be even more dangerous than your thoughts.

and, just like a breeze in the summer, you're gone into someone else's arms.

Shivering

the whole day through

Striving II

Can a monologue exist if no one is listening?

Inquietação

com tantas guerras que travei 
já não sei fazer as pazes.

Nada sabemos

Nunca sabremos si los engañados

son los sentidos o los sentimientos,

si viaja el tren o viajan nuestras ganas,

si las ciudades cambian de lugar

o si todas las casas son la misma.

Nunca sabremos si quién nos espera

es quién debe esperarnos, ni tampoco

a quién tenemos que aguardar en medio

de un frío andén. Nada sabemos.

Avanzamos a tientas y dudamos

si esto que se parece a la alegría

es la señal definitiva

de que hemos vuelto a equivocarnos.

Learn to forget

The Quest

The quest for life takes us into the unknown. And when facing it, all we wish for is finding back our way home.

War and Peace

I have always went where the winds blow. Some would blow East, North, others West or South, and more often than not, I found myself approximately where I started.

Only when moving erractely did I move somewhere, albeit into colder, darker places.

Happiness is overrated

People don't realize it is transient.

It was never fear

it has always been angst. When you start travelling, you never know when it’s going to stop, and I do have my safe harbour. Also, my spirit shall always be wild and free, but my soul is tired and weak. Nothing but Peace nurtures it these days.